" Whereof what's past is prologue, what to come In yours and my discharge. "
-- by William Shakespeare, The Tempest
The lessons of history shape all of us who are charged with the seemingly impossible task of predicting the future. They are the anchor for what could otherwise be an all-too-serendipitous task. There is always the risk that we become captives of an immaterial past that offers little insight into what lies ahead. The trick is to know which lessons from history are most relevant.
-- by Stephen Coach, Morgan Stanley Chief Financial Analyst
The following are selected journals of my past, which shaped me of who I am now. I can't relive my past, just now need to live everyday at present.
March 23, 2013
Due to work, my colleagues and I had site visits to numerous farm lands, villages and counties in China. Everyday and every meal our host had served us with excessive variety of livestock such as wild boar, wild cow, wild birds, etc. He emphasized that those are the best they can offer in the area. However, compared to what we normally eat in everyday Hong Kong, those food were unappealing. We didn't feel too significant at all. Not until the weekend I finally had free time to explore the county on my own did I realize that I did was having the best the county can offer. This incident, along with other hospitalities, had me to reflect on how fortunate I am in this world.
Sometimes we are just living in a sheltered environment that had us developing a delusional world. We whine about things we don't have but have we actually appreciated the things we have in our lives? In this regards, I feel more fortunate to have experienced an acceptable life so I can properly relinquish the desire of luxury. I guess it is amongst the stages of growing up...
Staying in a village with no entertainment, my best use of idled time would be writing poems. Enjoy.
I'm on a work trip journeying the coastal China
From Fuzhou to Hangzhou by the great rail of China
Fulfilling my sponsor duty, interviewing customer
Accompanied with boss, junior, auditor, lawyer
How can I make best of my idled time?
Indulging in the auditor or writing poems that rhyme?
knowing that the cutie beside me can't be mine
I shall throw my juicy fantasies all behind
Of the six hours journey remained an hour or two
Now contemplating the evening to "you xihu" (游西湖)
My current working life style indeed ain't that bad
Would be lovely to have someone intimate to warm my bed
March 10, 2012
I don't depend on no body; no body depends on me.
December 15, 2011
我已辞了伦敦的工作，而买了去香港的机票，我这任性之旅也许就这样画上句号。在临走之前，我将会独行探游摩洛哥（揭开非洲/中东神秘的面纱）与站留在意大利的 Amalfi Coast 感受欧洲乡村的风情。我已经去了太多旅行，玩得太够反而心定了，人生也开此有了别的目标。虽然现尚早说出人生的改变，但改变正在沃壤中。这段时间我真的成长了很多，看事情的观点与角度也变了。
想不了在我对伦敦心凉的时候，I found love in a hopeless place。现实早已把我的童话幻灭，反而我现感觉到的是现实里的童话。
I have caught up with my life now.
I must appreciate that I have a few friends who know what I am doing - "getting it out of the system" - and provide me emotional support. I am still under 30. All these challenges are indeed preparing myself for a better future. I will get it through.
Aug 20, 2011
Finally melancholy stroked me. I haven't felt like this for a long time. To
soothe my feeling, I listened to "似水流年". Then I
reminisced the time I was in Vancouver, being 12, innocent, listening to this
same song, living with mom, dad and sis. That was a very sweet time I had in my
childhood. Then I realized, I do, I do miss home, miss my mom, dad and sis. I
wanted to go back time, but I couldn't... guess what I can grasp is the fond
July 21, 2011
Thinking back, I have always been planning, planning, rushing and working. While now I am ok settled, my heart is finally at ease. For the first time in a very long while, I had a feeling of idling.
I guess as I go out everyday, explore different district, try something new, or even cook, I am learning and propelling my life. I shall use this time to taste other spices of life. :D
I will commence my clubbing life tomorrow. ;-)
April 5, 2011
What is life?
I am looking for a right path in life, but I don't know the meaning of "right". Seems to me I am looking for elements; different types of elements such as love, career, friends and family. It came to me that what I am searching for in life, at this moment, is love. Then I decide to drop everything I am engaged now, such as career and friends, for this purpose. If no major incident happens, I shall be moving to London in June.
It is more than solely "love" that draws me to London, there are also parks, arts, culture, financial center and work-life balance. These elements are in me, but being suppressed by living in Hong Kong. I am now going to submerge in them... I am seeing myself becoming a different person when I settle down in London. My behavior now is more like a kid (I fought quite hard to suppress my growth), but I shall let myself to grow up as an adult soon, after I have experienced enough elements I wanted to experience as a youth.
I must appreciate that I am living a free life at the current life stage. Most importantly I must appreciate my mom and dad for bringing me to this world and giving me education and wings for me to be who I want to be. Thank you.
November 25, 2010
Cliffie has been working hard lately coz he needs to finish the tasks so as to leave for his holiday. Somehow I must be happy that my bosses have been treating me good and I am involved in meaningful jobs. Yet, they all allowed me for the annual leave and I will be going to South-east Asia for 17 days. Oh sweet oh. Then I need to thank my colleagues for the cover ups. I am thankful.
Cliffie will be heading to Vietnam tomorrow, then Cambodia, Thailand and Laos. Most importantly I will be going with very good friends. Oh. Thanks!
"The path to our destination is not always a straight one... We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark." Honestly Cliffie doesn't know where he is going... but I guess he is just wanting to taste the variety spices of life.
August 18, 2010
I am back from Beijing. This trip has opened my eyes and my mind even wider, and I begin to think more about my future path... Aside from working very early in the morning until late at night, I had exposed to the following incidences:
- drank with boss who stationed in Beijing and chatted about the business environment for a foreigner
- discussed with a local PRC colleague on the working environment on different types of business entities
- enjoyed a half day chat with my old friend from Vancouver regarding life and living in the PRC
- partied the local PRC way: the alcohol, mah-jong, KTV, feast
- partied the western way: clubbing
Each of the above little incident tells a story of the PRC from different perspectives, like several blind men describing an elephant. I can path a way for more PRC exposure, but the destination won't be too comfortable. Then now I have to assess my purpose and goal in life and most importantly to understand truly who I am inside.
March 23, 2010
I will have a 2.5 week holiday in May and will visit Europe again. As my very close friends know, I travel because I am not too happy with the status quo. It is like I am taking ecstasy to escape the current life stage, but in a healthy way. ;-) But as the excitement of planning a trip subdues, I feel that I am walking on a tight rope again. Some how I will survive.
In the coming trip I'll go to London and Koln visiting friends. Sightseeing is no longer important as I am older and realize that love and friendship are more precious.
On the work front, I ain't as excited as I used to be. And now I am solely in charge of a sale of a diamond/jewelry retail chain. I must be happy because I will soon explore their whole design process and business operation and write up the company.
God, please guide me to a happy and satisfying life.
December 11, 2009
Today is the 11th of December, of which is the first weekend that I am total
free from work for few months after a major milestone of a deal that I was
working on. So I had time clubbing and chatting with friends. After a few
drinks and I am still drunk in this moment I started to reflect on my life
and wondered why I am in Hong Kong... I realize that life is not perfect.
There are so many scarifies like I have A then I can't have B. And the like
that I used to like in A is no longer the same. It is torturing but I must
face it as I am growing up and must take responsibilities of life and action. I am struggling perhaps the alcohol is taking effect on me... Life
was really good when I was young. I still have a good life but things are
just not the same. I am venting and I really don't know the purpose of
life... it loops me into a negative
emotional spiral. If it ain't
friends, I don't how to survive.
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes I really have to look upon Ugly Betty for guidance whether I have gone off track. Similarly work has transformed me. I was once down to earth person but has gone aggressive with work. It is not a bad thing as I have made career one of my top priorities. With one thing gained, I had trade-off, simply reduced the amount of wholeheartedness. Have I lost myself, or is it simply a part of growing up? I haven't yet lost sight of myself.
Over the past month I gained 6lb to utmost heaviest moment of my life. Likely due to the lunch boxes, OT, irregular daily schedule. It is one quality of my life which I must change backward. Or better to turn whatever into muscle.
I've lost that heart to be considerate...
Feb 17, 2008
With now I am in HK, I understand more the meaning of competitive world. Vancouver is truly a heaven; people are willing to settle for less, not to compare and not to hurt others. However as now I gradually (must) step into the HK competitive culture, I am slowly leaving the Vancouver value. I realize I wasted so much time in Vancouver. It's detrimental to my career.
Whereas, I can't, I really can't blame because it was my decision to experience life in Vancouver, to experience a life in a Shangri-la, to be a Vancouverite. I have no regret as I did fulfill my dreams. I have no regrets. Well, what I will conclude is: Vancouver is like a city I visited; I was there, spent a wonderful time, and now it is all memory. I should move forward.
May 13, 2007
It is now when I am back home I can finalize what I feel about the trip. The most important thing I learn from this tour, however, isn't the sightseeing from Mexico. Rather, it is the experience to live and understand alternative ways of living, the hearts of feeling and caring other's joy and pain, and the further understanding human nature and life's philosophies. So many valuable things in this world are not blatantly for people to see.
October 13, 2006
I quite enjoy the latest TV drama Ugly Betty. Being ugly and working in the high-end fashion industry don’t cross. But seeing how Betty fighting the society negatives and stigmas really inspires me. I recall what Betty’s father mentioned to Betty regarding her performance in the high school play, some what like: “although you casted as a rock, you played it so beautiful.”
I got enlightened that everyone has a mission in life and has a stance in the society. Not everyone is that lucky to cast as the main character and live according to the society perception of perfection. The best is for everyone to understand their purpose of life and to perform the best of task at that position. Sadly, I know what I am capable of, but can never clearly visualize my stance in the world. I haven’t yet discovered a precedent…